The Wait Is On

I had the honor and privilege to recently attend the wedding reception of my lovely niece and her groom--each age 31, plus.  It is a first marriage for each.  It was a compromise of certain traditional elements with the wonderfully quirky originality of the bride and the groom.  Also, over the course of the weekend celebrations, I spend much time with one of my wonderful sons who also happens to be over 30 and single.
 

Friday morning, while having that second cup of coffee, I heard an interview with Dr. Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University and author of "The Marriage-Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family in America Today."  Dr. Cherlin reported that in the generation of my mother (a lively 85, thank you very much), marriage was the threshold to adulthood.  Young men and women typically lived at home until marriage.  Once married, the young couple would move into an apartment, work, start a family and eventually buy a home.  My mother married my father in 1952 when she was 26 years old - a bit long in the tooth compared to the average of 20 years old at that time.  Mom had also attended college and had her B.S. and worked before she met and married my dad.  I can only imagine what my paternal grandfather thought of the "old woman" my dad brought home as I recall my grandfather telling me, when I was almost 18, that I was over-the-hill and needed to start looking for a husband--soon.  Grandma was 16 when she married Grandpa.  I guess I may have started looking a little hopelessly  spinsterish to him by those standards.  

Studies show that the average age for a bride is now 27 years and the average age for the groom is 28 years.  There are many thresholds to adulthood now days that are attained before marriage--careers, homes, even starting a family.  A Rutgers study states that one of the primary reasons that the average marriage age is increasing is because sex is accessible to men without marriage.  An economic study maintains that people value the institution of marriage.  With the no-fault divorce movement which occurred in the past thirty-plus years in the U.S., those who value marriage are waiting to be sure that the mate is the "right" one in order to avoid a protracted and expensive divorce.

How does this impact family law?  In many ways, it doesn't.  Starting a family before marriage still results in custody disputes when the parties end their relationship--don't mean a thing if you ain't got that ring--when it comes to child custody issues.  If the couple who waited to marry does end up divorcing, it is likely that there is more separate property to be traced.  The delay in marriages could increase the number of prenuptial agreements because of the greater likelihood of the individuals having amassed some separate property before the marriage. 

Regardless of your age or the length of your marriage, if you find that you need to consult with or hire a divorce lawyer, it makes sense to seek an affordable attorney who is experienced and compassionate.   

  

Atticus Finch or Denny Crane

"I am a lawyer. I am entrusted by the People of Texas to preserve and improve our legal system. I am licensed by the Supreme Court of Texas. I must therefore abide by the Texas Disciplinary Rules of Professional Conduct, but I know that professionalism requires more than merely avoiding the violation of laws and rules. I am committed to this creed for no other reason than it is right."

There is a little bit of Atticus Finch in everyone who was chosen by this life in the justice system. In my imaginary, unwritten post-script to "To Kill A Mockingbird," I believe that Scout followed in her father's footsteps and became a lawyer. I did not become a lawyer because either of my parents practiced law. They did, however, practice civility and strong values in their everyday lives. In that regard, I strive to follow in the footsteps of my parents and live my life within a solid code of values and civility.

Many clients are not aware that the Supreme Court of Texas promulgated (fancy word for proclaimed) the Texas Lawyer's Creed in 1989. The Texas Lawyer's Creed sets out the ideal for every attorney licensed to practice law in Texas. These ideals know no geographic boundaries (although that seemed to be part of the impetus of the Texas Supreme Court as they state that their goal in promulgating the Texas Lawyer's Creed is to eliminate a practice of abuse tactics by attorneys which surfaced "in many parts of our country.") In the 23 years since the drafting of the Texas Lawyer's Creed, I am certain that the majority of my fellow attorneys, in Texas and around the globe, aspire to these ideals, too.

The first section of the Texas Lawyer's Creed speaks to the Atticus in each of us:

• We are proud of our profession and our word is our integrity.
• We give our time and services to those who would otherwise be unable to access our justice system.
• Rather than acting as the inspiration for the"bad reputation of the legal community," we should each aspire to the Lawyer's Creed
• We are to be aware that we owe a duty to our system of justice and our stewardship of the justice system is an honor we should not trample upon

The next sections of the Lawyer's Creed set forth the standards for our relationship with our client, with other attorneys, and with the judges. Generally speaking:

• we are to act with honor and honesty while serving our clients and seeking to resolve the client's issues as quickly and economically as possible
• we are to maintain objectivity and loyalty to our client without becoming personally enmeshed in their case
• we are to be civil and courteous to others because it is the right thing to do
• we will not participate in the intentional harassment or delays
• we will not participate in frivolous suits, motions, discovery requests or obstructive discovery responses
• we will advise the client of the alternatives to litigation
• we will not nit-pick style when the issue is substance
• we will identify changes we make in documents
• we will promptly draft orders that are accurate and reflect the true terms of a ruling or an agreement
• we will call, email, text, fax, or otherwise notify all who need to know and the Court when hearings, depositions, meeting, conferences or other matters are cancelled
• we will be reasonable with one another so long as it does not adversely affect our client
• we will adhere to the rules of procedure and evidence in serving pleadings and motions
• we will make good faith efforts to resolve disputes without taking up the Court's time
• we will not be unethical and we will make a true effort not to be snide, tacky, sarcastic or otherwise disagreeable in person, on the phone, or in writing
• we will not make false accusations of unethical behavior against our opposing counsel and we will not disparage opposing counsel or the opposing party to our client
• we will not take a default or obtain a dismissal when we know there is an attorney on the other side of the case without first contacting that attorney about their intention to proceed
• we will make good faith efforts to schedule hearings, depositions and other matters by agreement
• we will stipulate to undisputed facts

That is a fairly lengthy laundry list of dos and don'ts that can be distilled into these tenets:

• advocate with honor;
• be honest in all that you do;
• be respectful while standing your ground;
• be courteous to others;
• be ethical at all times; and,
• remember that we not only represent our clients--we represent our profession every day; our conduct determines whether others perceive us as noblee, like Atticus Finch, or not.

Treating Rusty Brains and Other Ailments

As the dawn of my double-nickel birthday approaches, I find myself experiencing a sense of gratitude for my health and mobility. While I am not always amused by the energetic pre-6:00 a.m. thumps to the top of my head from my 3-year old Sheltie, rousing me to take him for a quick two mile walk, once outside and underway, I feel a sense of happiness and accomplishment. Gotta love those endorphins--even before the coffee. Add my promise to myself to walk everyday during Lent in order to kickstart what is good for me, leads me to my blog topic. Years ago I read a stress study that the two most stressful life events are the death of a spouse or child closely followed by divorce. The best way to reduce stress is to exercise and meditate. As an attorney, I interact daily with those who are coping with high levels of stress. What better way to reduce one's stress than to lace up one's shoes and head out the door. The objective is not necessarily speed--though I know many runners and a few marathoners (you know who you are BT)--but just to have some quiet time in one's own head and move. The benefits of these excursions are amazing. Purportedly, a 30-minutes daily walk over a 24 month period could lead to a 25 pound weight loss. Exercise reduces one's risk of Alzheimer's, obesity,cardiovascular disease, and diabetes. Walking, or other regular physical activity, helps to maintain cognitive function and memory--always helpful for witness recall :). Meditation has been shown to reduce stress hormones. A cup of coffee each day can lower one's risk of certain cancers. People with pets live longer than those without pets. Folks in a relationship live longer than those who live alone. Massage and touch decreases stress. Snuggling a pet, a child, or a significant other also reduces stress and releases endorphins. What a trifecta! Pet the dogs, hook up their leashes, walk them in the quiet sunrise, get back home in time for some quiet time and a cup of coffee. Of course, there's always chocolate . . . but that is a blog unto itself. So my professional advice to clients and non-clients is to take a walk. Listen to the birds. Enjoy the fresh air. Have a quiet moment with a cup of coffee, or a cup of coffee with a friend, even a furry, four-legged one who loves you unconditionally. The benefits will more than compensate for getting up a little earlier. Your brain will thank you.

It Ain't Easy Being Green

One of my goals at The Branch Law Firm, P L L C, is to be as paperless as possible. In order to achieve this goal I am relying on such notables as Steve Jobs and Bill Gates and others like them.  I have spent the first week of my practice working cases and installing software and setting up my hardware.  My ScanSnap S1500 is a remarkable little desktop scanner which is quite user-friendly.  I have scanned untold numbers of documents, categorized them, and shredded the hard copies with my handy-dandy OfficeMax crosscut shredder.  I found a nice 500 MB external hard drive to back up my files from my Hewlett-Packard desktop.  I am also relying on my iPad.  I know that my iPad is "cloud" oriented but I am hesitant to be completely reliant on something over which I have little control.  I love the Pages App.  And, here's a shout out to Rick Robertson at Koons Fuller for his very informative CLE about using the iPad.   I am drafting documents on my iPad from the comfort of my living room couch in the evening and e-mailing my work to myself in Word format.  I am still test driving other apps and software using the free trial periods offered by several manufacturers.  I think back on the summer of 1973 when I attended the University of Kansas Summer Science Program studying computer programming.   This is so far removed from those punch cards from the computer lab with their hanging chads.   I know once I get all of this set up and get in the habit of being green then it will be much easier than this initial set up.  Kermit, I feel your pain – it ain't easy goin' green.

Passing on Passwords

Welcome to The Branch Law Firm, PLLC's inaugural blog. After many years at a nationally prominent family law firm located in Dallas and San Antonio, I have opened a practice in picturesque Rockwall, Texas, ready to continue to provide quality legal services. While setting up the office, my dearly beloved asked: "If something happens, how do I access this stuff?". And,thus my first blog idea was born. Who do you trust enough give access to your passwords? Your bank accounts? Your credit card accounts? Your Facebook? Your Twitter? Your LinkedIn? Your blog? Your pin numbers? Should it be the executor/executive of your estate? The trustee of your trust? Your spouse? What if there is marital discord? Your sibling? A parent? An adult child? What if there is a breakdown in the familial relationship? What about your attorney? The person to whom you entrust your passwords should be someone who will keep the information safe and not access your accounts unless you become incapacitated or die. Another thought to ponder is that passwords should be changed frequently to thwart hackers. Your attorney has a special relationship with you called a fiduciary relationship. The Legal Dictionary at law.com defines a fiduciary relationship as: fiduciary relationship n. where one person places complete confidence in another in regard to a particular transaction or one's general affairs or business. The relationship is not necessarily formally or legally established as in a declaration of trust, but can be one of moral or personal responsibility, due to the superior knowledge and training of the fiduciary as compared to the one whose affairs the fiduciary is handling. Call me at 469-600-3334 (M-F 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. CST) at The Branch Law Firm, PLLC, to learn how you can secure your passwords for access by an authorized person of your choice in the event of your incapacity or death.